From what mom told me before she left, this was the first time anyone had taken her daughter for an extensive time frame. My mom finished cooking and got started on the cleaning. By this point I was able to get around a bit more. I could sit at the kitchen table for longer periods with my leg down and when needed to I could put it up onto a chair. Mom finished cleaning and got all my snacks put onto the table next to my chair. My dad had found a dorm refrigerator and put it on the other side of my chair so I could store cold water and sodas or anything else cold I would desire during the day. So mom stocked up my water and couple of sodas for me; as well as a container of dip for my chips later in the day. I talked to Tabitha that day and she was busy at work and would not be able to come over that night. I was disappointed, but didn’t let it get to me. I could go a night without her and her attention, I hoped. So I spent the rest of the day watching senseless TV shows and surfing. ’ Ugh! I hated this part. (Maggie was our mutual friend who had also been a Bride’s maid in our wedding. As I started to degrade myself, my sweet baby started crying from the other room. The sound made my breasts swell with milk on top of the store I already had it ached to have him mashing my chest. ‘Please let me grab her and feed her? We’ll pick where we left off as soon as we’re done.’ ‘Shut up!’ Grabbing me around the throat he picked up his damaging pace, ‘She can wait, you are going to finish me now.’ Her wailing intensified, the pitiful cries had my eyes misting over. I could tell her cry was a sad one. It broke my heart not to go to her when she needed me. ‘Please?! Please Lu can’t you hear her? She’s alone and hungry. Let me soothe her. No baby should be left to cry when they’re hungry, please let me help her?’ I desperately wanted to get to my baby ‘NO!’ My airway was completely shut off. I struggled underneath him, tears spilling from the corners of my eyes. My hand.
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